do people still call stuff like 50 shades mommyporn
ngl lowkey aroused when cam brink blocks a shot or hits a 3
buddy comedy with rickea jackson and cam brink
remembering how fuckin badly we all wanted noma gt snow racers back in the day
i used to sing all the joseph and the amazing technicolor dreamcoat songs in the shower
delighted by the idea that the shawarma places in town may have a low-key rivalry about whose turnips are best
just had a messy crying fit bc one day i won't get to go to bed next to/wake up with my partner
his favourite app on his phone is contacts
doug egg and egg peralta
rest in piss hulk hogan
what is this horseville
soylent green is purple!
people are very easy to manipulate... it's shocking really
the kids who got mad when brands took over social now work for brands and wonder why everyone hates brands
the consultant class = useful idiots
if all jobs paid the same i wonder what everyone would do
been away but not away away just away
nothing is often a good thing to do and always a clever thing to say nothing is often a good thing to do and always a clever thing to say nothing is often a good thing to do and always a clever thing to say nothing is often a good thing to do and always a clever thing to say nothing is often a good thing to do and always a clever thing to say nothing is often a good thing to do and always a clever thing to say nothing is often a good thing to do and always a clever thing to say nothi
people making me feel like an alien today
meeting someone at a chichi kinda bar that takes itself too seriously for what it is and they're giving me the this guy seems poor treatment lol
country music used to about having sex with your truck while your dog and horse watched but now it's about watching other people have sex with their trucks in the dollar general parking lot while slamming cold ones with your dog (horse got sober)
champagne for my real friends and alcohol-free champagne for my real friends who have quit drinking
remember when yahoo! paid a billion for tumblr
remember tumblr porn?
be ungovernable means don't blindly submit to authority you still have to wash your ass
no judgment... what happens at the airport ramada stays at the airport ramada
i must know at least three furries
bumble is a good name tinder is a bad name hinge is a dumb name no i will not be taking questions at this time
if i had a ship you can bet your bottom dubloon i wouldn't name it billy o' tea like what does that even mean
why does that guy throw sheet cakes at people anyway like is it a sex thing
you're in her dms i'm in her ruffini's corpuscle we are not the same
whoever first called testicles balls was really onto something huh
i hope the "we ain't found shit" guy is in spaceballs 2
spaceballs 2: 2 space 2 balls
young men think being on the fascist side of things is cool wtf
dudes who are super duper into tits are almost always the worst
contemporary reality feels like the result of a lazy prompt by an edgelord who is angry about having to do homework and eat vegetables
mister grraaaaaaapes
well well well if it isn't one of the world-famous night bros
oh i get it wellbutrin like well, doing well
entire lifetimes can happen inside of a few minutes huh
tell the ppl you love you love them
psst josh giddey is the ghost of a victorian child pass it on
i am pretty sure peter thiel is a virgin
family time is always way better than you thought it would be or way worse than you imagined it could get be no middle ground
oh liz you had me at hayden panettiere's dead
okay i'll bite what's america
jack donaghy as harriet tubman
it's not that people are dumb it's that the dumb people think that the people who aren't dumb are faking it for... reasons
sorry i've been away i've been fighting robots and also falling in love with them
pete hegseth is such a fuckin loser
if i did write smut tho one story would be about a guy who didn't know how to jo properly and his friend john had to teach him and the vibe would be david lynch peculiar and like, so anti-hot that it invariably would get people get off
i wish i could get rich writing smut but i fear my idea of what's hot is really not hot what then i'd have to move to like, montana
we used to call people hog when they were greedy and didn't share and now we call them daddy
they make the japanese look like the greeks
(but if she did it's okay tbh)
my gf knows about this page and has her own but we made a promise to never look at each other's pages and i have never for one second thought she went back on her word
being in love isn't what i thought it was, it's better
shout out to courtney barnett
nobody really cares if you don't go to the party but you should still go bc parties r fun
every now and then i wanna post some shit like if people knew who i really was they'd hate me but that's fuckin nonsense because 1) most people know who i really am... just because i was too arrogant to think they could see me doesn't mean they couldn't and; 2) bro i'm fuckin awesome they wouldn't hate me
when you're a kid you want to be cloud strife when you're a teen you want to be sephiroth when you grow up you want to be vincent valentine
remember how casually troy barnes would say he liked butt stuff
i tried a different way for once and found that it was better but i also know it wouldn't have worked before today so p a r a d o xxxxx
milk as a verb is just fucking gross tbh
i have nipples greg can you milk me
it feels really good but i'd rather die than call it milking the prostate
i'm kind of sort of a prompt engineer in that i'm not always there when you call but i'm always on time fuck it i'mma hit post i've got places to be
the sixth sick sheikh's sheep something something
i don't want you to teach me how to dougie -- you're busy, i don't want to impose
old me panicked new me plans
one day i will find the words and they will be purple
of all the leightons i've lost i meester the most
do you think we're ever truly forgiven i shout into the wendy's drive-through box while a sixteen year old who lost at rock paper scissors loads the trank gun
i would trade all the craigs i ever met for one more rex
i have met at least six craigs in my life and that's way too many
one day i am gonna get a dog and it'll be over for you people
i was almost 30 before i ate a runny egg and it was just ok wtf was everyone yammering about
social media made people into hyenas and not the good hyenas
fighting all the battles makes you a corpse fighting none makes you a coward
chewed too much xylitol gum before bed and... don't do that
arnie pye and arnie in the sky
i'm more honest here than anywhere else and that scares me a bit
i'm gonna start writing ppl letters or postcards or some shit
i'm too old to become a photographer but i'm gonna
when i was a kid i thought everyone's dads hit their moms and you already know why
i don't want to be gross but (sometimes i piss)
sometimes the green salsa is the mild one sometimes it's the one that humbles you
i always forget how much energy it takes to be truly present in the world
big weekend good weekend but now i'm tired af on a monday
when i was seventeen i had wrists like steel and i felt complete
laundromats are liminal spaces
but as always fuck the yankees
i take it back don't fuck the mets
bitcoin and eth etc is actually really interesting but the people who love it the most are painfully uncool and wildly corrupt which has poisoned the well in re: mass adoption
also fuck the mets
people with nothing are getting bombed and ppl are like what are ya gonna do how 'bout those mets
looking out a dirty old window, down below the cars in the city go rushing by
like so and so were making sex last night
when i was a kid ppl didn't say have sex they said make sex (i think)
the right song at the right time turns the cadence of you walk into sex
i used to wish for what i have now
where i am .... [where i want to be] ..... [where i expect myself to be] ..... [where i criticize myself for not being] ..... [but what if i'm actually here???]
robot r0b0t röbøt
there's a movie called jane austen wrecked my life but i read the title too fast and thought it said jane curtin
eventually all the computers will eat all the information we let them chew on and we won't know anything because evolution will have relieved us of the ability to remember
tactfully exited a conversation instead of lighting someone on fire today but don't tell my therapist or i'll have to pay more
i'm too old to become a photographer but i wanna
who would you be if you were you without being like you
ned nederlander's spiritual successor is rj cyler's james beckwourth
of all the things i'm afraid of the dumbest is that someone will steal my work and sell it as their own
i'm only now finding people like me but it's kind of exciting
i want to ******************************* but how do i explain to ***** that ******* without ********************************* even though that is not the case
i used to hold dumb grudges against perfectly fine and normal people because i thought it was what was expected of me as a friend like oh here my friend please take my autonomy aren't i a good buddy
sometimes i save a show to watch when everyone else has finished talking about it and then i forget to watch it at all so who's really the bird in the cage
i had been avoiding the news so i took her down for a quick look and then cried tears that spelled out nope nope nope nope
everyone thinks they invented the shower beer but they didn't (i did)
in which i suppress the urge to write a post about some weird cool sex thing i did
go home science girl
i want to make an art piece here on thoughts.page and maybe i am
remember when those bacon guys were on youtube
haven't written in my journal in a few days and that guy is gonna be piiiiissssssed
i used to write mmhmm on msn and aol and gchat and ppl were like what and i was like that's me sayhimg mmhmm like i'm listening keep going and i was never quite sure they understood that i was making a mouth sound but with typings
the venn diagram of [guys who have some x, some y, some z] and [guys who have some z, some x, and some y] is a circle
i like being anonymous(ish) bc for so long i didn't know what the internet was
taper jean girl with a motel face
when i was a kid i wanted to be a garbageman
i have to get good at ai stuff for work but that should not be interpreted as me being a supporter of the ai-ification of the world because i'm not
i generally show people i like them in a way that is unambiguous because why would you be ambiguous about something like that
economics? in this economy?!
building an empire is hard i've been at this for weeks now
he hated my alliterations so i hastily hired a hairy heavyset haitian hitman to hammer him to death but the guy just shot him
how are
(i knew) death is coming eat trash be free (before you did)
let me know if you're ever in barcelona
remember when everyone was into trapped in the closet
a significant number of my heroes are queer but i am at most a kinsey 2
what if things worked out
entirely possible i don't know what lo-fi actually is
also remember the when that container ship got stuck in the suez canal and backed up the world supply chain
a mexican navy ship crashed into the brooklyn bridge yeah okay buddy whatever i just did the times crossword and i'm immune to your bragging
every day i worry that i'm going to tell ppl that this place is my favourite of all my internet spaces and in so doing ruin it
when i watch sports i see poetry and i wish they did too
you ever get the feeling you're exactly where you're supposed to be
legit just cried at the enormity of the realization that i worked hard to get better after years of meh this is good enough bc i met the right person and they had faith in me
so much of the experience of being properly medicated is like oh so normal people don't feel worry and shame and dread and anxiety all the time????? wtf???
america is just the purge now i know this isn't an original thought but neither is that america is idiocracy and you all clap and bark like seals at that one don't you
we got next
the new a'ja wilson nike commercial slaps
nat cloud was born to play in nyc
partner is playing gris and it's so beautiful
the ringmaster's telecaster sings on an empty stage
one wrong follow or repost and your algo is borked
it's raining like mf rn wow
remember when angie jordan said tracy wouldn't play obama because they supported kucinich
i need a devin banks-type nemesis
i came up with a great website idea -- for someone else
i need to focus but it's friday
there was a swimming pool in montreal and they did shows there
xylitol xylitol xylitol
i'm using gcal and writing a journal what am i an adult
i yearn to call a fat cat big chungus
hmork
i learned about everyone's fave band in high school by way of one of their lesser songs off their sophomore record which was the answer to some weird broken telephone ass team-building game i had to do in grade 9 or some shit
how you been
i've said the word anus more in the last three weeks than in the two decades prior
helped an adult male confront his subconscious and his cowardice ama
dead internet theory weirds me out and makes me feel surrounded by... entities
a man a plan a canal: panama!
julius randle revenge szn
sister got bit by a copperhead snake in the woods behind the house
time flies while you're worrying
city ppl like me talk a lot of shit but the suburbs are rad sometimes
how does margaret become peggy again
the duality of man: i used to type in lowercase then i got proper then went back
i hate that my life improved when i stopped reading the news every day but it did
by which i mean that fascism has an antiseptic quality
there's an overlap b/t "clean" and "fascist" that ought to be explored
i'm going to insist they use wingdings on my tombstone
no one says "forsooth" anymore
ai this ai that how about you aim when you piss this mens room is gross
there is something painful about owing people money
i hope i have the courage of my convictions
i'm at the ramen place / i'm at the taxidermist / i'm at the combination ramen place and taxidermist
i shoulda been a tiktokker
just another anonymous dave on the internet
randle redemption arc
mavs getting flagg is shady
make it good first
why would you lie about how much coal you have
add some friction
thoughts.page rules i can post my throwaway thoughts here and refine the mfs i like the most
tatum gonna text "i'm here if you need anything today" to vanessa bryant on mother's day
hm what is this joke actually
i've had enough of your software as a service
i've had enough of your saas
my partner and i should run a church ministering to couples that don't do whimsy well
if you chase your dreams but end up in ruins in the process are you a success
claude.ai just made me legit emotional
just told someone something i'd been holding inside for decades, but i'm not sure i feel lighter as much as i feel exhausted
i dont want to do what ive done or be what ive been which is why im omitting punctuation in this post take that establishment
i did come here to win but i also wanted to make friends if i'm being honest
my friend jt just now: "we’re living through risk-averse times.... keeps people closed-minded"
ed zitron should be more well-known
i miss twitter from ten or twelve years ago
never let em tell you that you shouldn't want what you want
is the juice worth the squeeze
ai is good at content + humans are better at context
they drink the sand because they don't know the difference
it's the ai-conomy stupid
in the future some scholar will refer to these as the dumb years and we'll be like buddy you don't even know
if you're feeling bad, help someone
obv still working on processing it but... it feels okay rn
just lost my job and yet the birds are still singing outside
note to self: #fdfdfe
radio friendly unit shifter
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